Art To All This MADNESS.

I’ve never reblogged anything in my ‘tumblr life’ hahah but this is the first time I have seen a work and felt a strong, strong, strong drive compelling me to reblog a piece. And on top of that, this is my first time seeing this painting, so it’s only been in my knowledge for about five minutes or so and I already feel such a connection to it. It’s weird because I feel like I somehow know that it’s gonna be important in my life. Somehow. I don’t know how or why.. but somehow.

——————

welovepaintings:

Alex Colville

Horse And Train

1954

___

Can destiny be altered? The viewer is a helpless witness of an impending disaster, and will never know the outcome because the painter has not painted it. In Horse and Train, the artist portrays a choice between the horse and the engineer in the train. The observer witnesses the confrontation between two freedoms.

Colville has created a sad environment by using dark grey colours. The horse and the train are painted the same dark colour against a gray, cloudy sky. The brightest fundamentals of the picture are; the bright light located on the front of the train and the railwaytracks reflecting the bright light. These two elements draw the viewer’s eyes toward the oncoming train and the horse galloping away from the viewer. The scale of the horse having a small head and large backside makes it appear to be more realistic to the viewer. The railroad lines seem to meet at the horizon creating a feeling of depth, as though the train is a great distance away. 

Canadianarthistory.wikispaces.com

(via cavetocanvas)

Standing Figure with Raised Arms

Dogon

Mali

c. 16th-20th century

______________________

Since starting my African art history course this semester, I have been immersing my brain in African art, culture, and beliefs… I have been leaning towards studying abroad in Mali (through a program offered by another college— which creates a problem, considering the fact that then my college won’t cover any of the finances and ALSO the program is held during Fall 2012 and most people at my college do study abroad in Spring 2012… poop :/ ) because of all the amazing art I have been learning about.. plus the professor for this course is an angel, I love her so much.

Overall, this semester has been beautiful so far… so beautiful. So fun, rewarding, low-key, relaxed, and laid-back. I feel like I’ve been able to let my brain breathe and in the process my heart has been able to grow. Without constant stress with work, like last year, I feel like I’ve been able to grow, mature, and become spiritually understanding :) I’m so thankful for all of this… for my friends here who are the kindest, most understanding, and caring people I could ever ask for. For my job working with one of my favorite professors, who is one of my favorite people, as well.. for getting such great, GREAT experience of how galleries, museums, education systems in museums, and the promotion of the arts works. For an amazing array of classes with such a harmonious mix of my loves; art history & museums— and even my general ed. class (Interpersonal & Intercultural Communications) is interesting and beneficial to helping me understand different ways of communicating.

Through all these blessings, I feel like the semester is going to be done before I know it & I’m gonna get kicked in the butt for everything going so well… it’s like I’m getting that skeptical feeling of “How can everything be so wonderful?” I want to raise my arms up to the heavens and praise the world for allowing me such a beautiful suite, group of friends, array of classes, all made possible through a college I am in love with.

I feel connected to the message this sculpture, “Standing Figure with Raised Arms”, represents. The Dogon culture, from the African country of Mali, created this statue sometime during the 16th-20th century. The Dogon used this statue in religious ceremony (a common use for art in Dogon (and all African) culture), but the unique characteristic of the piece is that this statue could potentially be used by anyone (not simply the diviner/priest/shaman).  The craftsman/artist carves a statue like this one in commission and after the piece is created, the diviner gives spiritual essence to the object by blessing it.  In turn, the owner of the object HAS to give sacrifice/offerings to the object.

Made of wood, “Standing Figure with Raised Arms” has traces of sacrificial residue covered over its surface (blood, mud, etc.), creating a crusty texture. It is about 3-3.5 feet tall, but the size of each sculpture varies, depending on the status of the person the object is being commissioned for.

The Dogon (a living culture still today) believe in more than one spirit/god, but the most important god in the culture is called ‘Ama’.  Ama has relations to the sky, so whenever someone sacrifices or gives offerings to an object representing Ama, one is sacrificing to the sky god.  Any figure of Ama in Dogon culture often represents the essence of Ama (instead of literally being a figure of Ama).

The “Standing Figure with Raised Arms” is a common image of prayer. Images of figures with arms raised to the sky are prevelant in Dogon society. This object is especially interesting because it is clearly androgynous. Male (beard on the face and penis on the body) and female (large, rounded breasts) body parts on this statue show that because this object it is spiritual image, the spirit world has no simple male or female sex. The spirit world is biologically sexless.

With the statue’s knees bent and arms up, the gesture represents a prayer for rain. There is a very small amount of rain in Mali, where the Dogon reside. Prayers for rain are important and crucial for this reason. Each arm (although one arm has been broken off because of old age) is decorated by circular bracelets. Through this body jewelry, the arms are highlighted, enhancing their importance in the act of prayer for rain.

“Standing Figure with Raised Arms” was used for ritual for a short period of time, as all Dogon art objects are. After a couple years or so, the ritual object is believed to have TOO much power from ceremony. Too much power can result from too many prayers and sacrifices associated with the piece of art. The object even becomes dangerous because of this overload of power!  In turn, the Dogon bury these pieces or give them away. This is how many Dogon pieces get to museums (because the Dogon give the ‘dangeously powerful’ art objects away to art dealers or tourists).

I raise my arms too, maybe not in prayer for rain, but instead to express my gratitude for this flowing semester and life, in general. Also, I feel like I continue to raise my arms to reach higher— I am so excited for what will happen the rest of this year. Usually in the past I feel so nervous for the future and I am scared to think ‘How will I be in a week, a month, a year? What will I be like, what will happen?’ Right now I feel so relaxed, so calm. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this calm.. maybe not since I was a kid before elementary school. I feel so grateful that I’m getting the chance to experience this calmness so I always can apply it to any situation, ANY SITUATION, I may come in contact with. So calm ~~~~~~~~

Meindert Hobbema (Dutch Baroque)

The Avenue at Middelharnis

Oil on Canvas

1689

______________________________________

Before I say anything, I just want to say: that sky. Oh my goodness gracious, look at it!!! It’s so beautiful. I remember when in class the professor projected this large image up on the board, I was taken aback. The sky overwhelmed me. It sucked me in, but not in a scary way. It made me feel small, but in the best way possible. Something about the way the sky is so large, so vast, so grand, with the strong vertical element of the trees cutting into its vastness made me stop and just be like, “…. Wow.”

I think what I like most about the sky is the fact that it takes up more than half the setting. The sky is something that humans can’t alter (other than the pollution we put into the air). We can alter the earth by building houses, planting trees, making roads, and creating gardens. But we can’t erect things in the sky permanently. The sky is a free soul, no one can own it, no one can tear it apart, no one can even begin to scratch its surface. Skyscrapers can attempt to reside within the sky’s element and planes can temporarily visit the sky’s wonders through their travels, but, essentially, the sky is of its own.

Most nature paintings I know of don’t usually have a large focus on the sky. But this piece from 1689 by Meindert Hobbema, a Dutch Baroque artist, most definitely puts its focus on the concept of vastness within the sky. Through The Avenue at Middelharnis, Hobbema depicts a Dutch landscape. He painted this piece during a time when the Dutch wanted art which focused on subjects of their OWN world, their land, and their towns. The Dutch wanted art which everyday peple could relate to on a personal level. And what could be more personal than their own land? The land which they have cared for with their own hands? The land which they have invested so much of their hearts within- whether it be through building homes for their families, towing a garden in order to make food and money, or riding carts pulled by horses down an avenue such like the one in this piece.

In this piece, there is a great interest in light and shade, seen through the immense amount of light in the sky, compared to the contrasting dark of the forest along the road. There is also a great sense of vastness horizontally and vertically. The horizontal (fields, avenue) elements bisect the vertical (tall trees) elements, creating a balance. The avenue recedes into the background, which creates a sense of movement because we (as the viewers) feel as if we are being drawn into the vast space, down the road. This Baroque style is typical of Dutch art of the time.

This piece most likely was created for a businessman patron. Many artists of the time were making art for a budding art market. As stated before, the Dutch liked to have art in their homes which depicted their own life and own landscape (which this painting does exactly).

The Avenue at Middelharnis is one of those paintings with which I will use the cliche saying: ‘I wish I could actually jump into this scene.’ I wish I could look up at the trees from my standing point on the ground— they look so cool!! They’re so tall, so slender and wavering. I’ve never seen a tree in real life that looks like these Dutch trees.. I wish that I could. To look up and see a being which can stretch so high into the limitless sky gives me hope that I can do the same.

With this new school year starting, and with an uncertainty of what lies ahead, I like to think that I can walk down the ‘road’ of this sophomore year of college imagining that I am walking down the ‘avenue at Middelharnis’. I picture a school year with tall trees on either side of the road, to lead me down the path. I hope I have ‘trees’ which can guide me down such a peaceful, orderly, and beautiful landscape of college. I feel content that I can do anything.. I feel content about this year.

Feather Cloak (made of bird feathers)

Hawaiian Islands

Polynesia

c. 1843

______________________

Something about this cloak stirs my energy. I look at it and imagine wearing it and I get really excited, it makes me feel refreshed and inspired to add more color into my wardrobe— to add more LIFE into my LIFE.

Does that make any sense? To add more life into your life?  It makes sense in my head, but very often ideas make sense in my head but tend to sound pretty warped when I put them into words for communication in order for others to comprehend. That happens most often when I’m about to fall asleep.. I always get my best ideas while I’m laying in bed, trying to fall asleep.  I’ve never been a person who falls asleep quickly, so most nights I lay there, different situations rushing through my head of ideas for get togethers with friends, different outfits that I can put together to wear the next day, different art pieces I want to start, or sometimes I’m even studying in my head if I have a test the next day. Seems like my soul never shuts off. Which can be a good thing since then I get great inspirations, but at the same time, it is frustrating when my body really just needs its sleep and it won’t let me rest. Usually what happens is that I wake up the next morning, open my eyes, and when I picture the idea I had the night before, the idea seems ridiculous. It doesn’t seem plausible, it doesn’t seem possible, and it just simply seems too out of this world. Lately what I do when this happens is that I close my eyes again and picture the idea again— and what usually happens is that once again the idea DOES seem possible.  It’s weird…. it’s like if my eyes are closed, these otherwordly ideas seem great.. but once my eyes open up, the crazy inspirations seem just that: crazy.

This cloak, believed to be the feather cloak of Kamehameha II (pronounced Kah-may-ah-may-ah), was seen as the most important item a king could wear because of its high prestige. The cloak is made entirely bird feathers- 2 different colored bird feathers to be precise. The yellow and red feathers each have their own symbolistic meaning. 

The yellow feathers represent Lono, the god of earth, agriculture, and new life, or fertility.  The red feathers represent Ku, the war god.  Ku, was seen as one of the most important gods, since war was a key element of many Polynesian cultures.

Yellow and red on a whole, intertwined together, represent the ruler.  This is because the king is considered a living spirit and is associated with spirits, while being seen as a ‘god on earth’.  The fact that the king would wear this cloak made him associated with the spirits because he is wearing the spirits’ (Lono’s and Ku’s) colors. 

Also, feathers are revered because they cover all items which are spiritual.  Hawaiians believed that gods are covered in feathers.  It was also believed that after the king died, he would turn into a bird and be covered in feathers.  In turn, when the king wears this cloak, he is covered in feathers in life (meaning that he is a spirit in life, as well).

This feather cloak’s importance is heightened by the fact that it takes an extremely long time to make.  Yellow and red feathers are hard to find- for an example, the Mamo bird only has about 6-7 feathers each.  The cloak consists of about 70,000 feathers!!! Imagine trying to find that many birds to acquire THAT many feathers!! The birds would have to be hunted (by the men), which is a difficult task.  Then, the women would weave the feathers into the base of the cloak. The creation of the feather cloak was a collaborative effort.

The simple crescent shape designs on the cloak refer to the shape of the king’s crown.  When worn, the cloak is symmetrical on each side, with the ruler’s spine going right down the middle. The simplicity of the cloak (the repeated patterns and two simple colors) derive from the difficult nature of creating this type of work. The difficulty of creating the cloak balances out with the simplicity of the design. I love the idea that you can create a work of art which is extremely complicated in execution, but you can still limit the aesthetic layering of the piece.  Sometimes I feel like when I make a piece of art I need to make the ENTIRE piece completely striking,  but after learning about a piece like this Feather Cloak, I feel at peace with the idea that I can create simply.  Less is more.

I wonder if when King Kamehameha II wore this feather cloak he felt like he could fly. Fly like a bird, or a spirit, which he was embodying. 

I soon will be able to put on my own feather cloak .. I already am weaving together my own feather cloak, as I begin packing my clothes, books, personal belongings, pictures, and art into suitcases and bags to head back to school.  I am slowly stitching together the material possessions of my life which help me get through day-to-day life. But I know underneath it all that my feather cloak is not simply the beings made of cloth, paper, plastic, and metal which will liberate me and give me the freedom of embodying the spirit world and once again spreading my wings. I know that that type of freedom simply comes from my mindset.

Now that the summer is almost over, I understand how to liberate my mind, even when my physical self isn’t geographically where I wish to be. This summer has been extremely hard. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  I’ve learned to embrace it, love it, and allow it to be one with my heart. I accept you, summer.  Now that we are about to part ways, I accept you and all you embody and are.  I accept you and welcome you with open arms when we meet again a year from now. <3

Faith Ringgold (African American, Contemporary Art)

Tar Beach

1988

_______________

Less than a month til I go back. 26 days to be precise. :D  Just thinking about it gives me the jitters. Jitters of pure excitement.  This summer has been the longest summer of my life.  And I’m not just saying that in terms of ‘it seems like it’s been the longest summer ever’— it LITERALLY HAS been the longest summer ever…. never in high school did summer start in mid-May and go ALL the way through the end of May, June, July, AND August. It’s hard for my brain to process that I’ve been away from school for THAT long. My heart has grown protective layers over itself during this time away and I really cannot wait to just rip all those layers off once I hit school grounds. I know that not everything is suddenly stars and rainbows and fireworks once I leave my hometown for my second year of college, but I DO know that I will feel free-er, and able to breathe easier and feel a little more light-hearted once I’m back on campus. I’ll feel like I have more of a purpose, a reason to love, a reason to blink, to open my eyes again to something fresh. 

Okay, now that I’ve briefly, briieffflyy described some of the toughness of this summer, I don’t want to make it seem like the entire thing was horrible… It is inevitable that I felt like a blanket had been pulled over my head for the first couple months… it’s such a drastic change from one life (at school) to another (at my hometown). But I feel like now that there is less than a month left, I am letting go. Letting loose in the way that I am trying to open my heart up to my family’s love that I often push away because of old frustrations or misunderstandings. I think it’s easier to do this now, rather than earlier on in the summer, because my heart is realizing that it doesn’t have to hold on to memories from this past school year for much longer in order to keep up a positive energy— because SOON my heart will be back in it’s natural habitat with people it feels at home with.

For this reason, I’ve been really into blankets, robes, quilts- anything that somehow covers over me with a ‘blanket’ of protection.

Faith Ringgold is an African American contemporary artist, who is also a writer, teacher, speaker, and craftswoman— she is an all-around accomplished female artist!  She grew up in Harlem and her mother was/is a fashion designer.  A lot of Ringgold’s work is a collaboration between her mother and herself.

Tar Beach is an multi-media work and an autobiographical story- the piece is made out of fabric/quilt (which is seen as a traditional woman’s craft) around the edges, and the center consists of oil on canvas. The story depicted is about a girl, Cassie Louise Lightfoot, who is the representation of Faith Ringgold.  The actual written story is typed out and sewn on the quilt on the top and bottom of the piece. The story actually spans over an entire children’s book (click there for more info ;) ) titled “Tar Beach”. 

These typed out paragraphs tell the story of her childhood. Specifically, the story of this piece focuses on ‘Tar Beach’— aka; the rooftops people in her homecity went on top of during the summertime in order to stay cool during the heat spells.  I love this title… it’s like a beach made of tar, with all the people’s towels and blankets set up over the rooftop, with picnics scattered here and there. Tar Beach depicts the moment from her childhood story when the little girl (Faith Ringgold) was laying down on a quilt on her building’s rooftop with her little brother. Her family is sitting nearby at table, chatting— those are the absolute BEST moments. I love sitting outside with my sister on our front lawn and just spacing out and relaxing and having my mom, stepdad, and some of their friends talking in the gazebo across the way— and for those short moments, I feel like a little kid again. I feel curious to know what the adults are talking about, I feel seperated from the adults in a good way, in my own little ‘kid world’ where the other kids and I are kings of our own realm. I feel happy to know that the adults are having a good time in their own little adult realm too. I like that they’re having their adult time and we’re having our kid time… all seems at peace and balance in the world. :)

In this scene, the girl (Ringgold) is looking at the stars and feels transformed— she feels this transformation when the stars come down and lift her up above the George Washington Bridge. In the piece, you can see her little form stretched out, reaching & touching the stars, flying high above the bridge. In this moment, she knew that she could do anything , even as a black woman. 

“I will always remember
when the stars fell down around me
and lifted me up above
the George Washington Bridge.”

Through Tar Beach, Ringgold is sending a very positive message to all- especially children.  Not only does it convey a positive message, but it has such bright, radiant, vibrant colors and patterns on the quilt. She has also blurred the line between ‘fine art’ and ‘craft’ by putting an oil on canvas within a ‘craft’ item, such as a quilt.  Quilting speaks to the African American culture, as well, since quilt-making has a solid history with slaves from generations ago.  Ringgold is educating children about African American history, her own personal history, self-esteem, confidence, & dreaming to the FULLEST, and I mean the FULLEST, extent.  To the extent of being able to fly amongst the stars, over the city’s bridges, and land softly back onto the ‘Tar Beach’ of your apartment building’s rooftop, maybe with a little stardust collected on your toe-tips.

After dinner tonight, around 8:30 pm, I went to peak outside after seeing a pink hue being reflected onto the tree outside our pantry room’s window. It immiediately caught my eye, so I looked quickly out the kitchen window and was suddenly stuck. to. the. spot. Because it was SO FRICKIN’ BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I shuffled outside so I could be one with the scene. The entire sky was pink with these soft, but at the same time strong, clouds— clouds that looked like cotton candy, but at the same time stood their ground, not budging for anyone— but at the same time slowly, ever so slowly, drifiting with the entire mass, heading north. It had just rained super hard quickly a couple hours earlier, so when I put my bare feet in the grass, it was soaked with fresh water.  My sister yelled out the door, “WHAT are you doing?!?”, & I felt kinda foolish, but the only explanation I had was, “It’s so beautiful out here!” hahah she thinks I’m crazy.  I started running around the backyard FULL SPEED, like a track star, or a cantering horse.

I feel so grateful to live where I live. To be where I am. To have this freedom of space to run and be one with nature…. I know I began this post with the idea that I feel such a lack of freedom here and need so badly to return to school in order to gain back that freedom. But at the same time, there is a physical freedom in the country here that I know I’ll always love even though my heart is now engrained within the city-life back at school.  I really am blessed because back here in my hometown I have a physical sense of freedom of wide open space and tons of greenery/nature which I can always fall back on. And then in my new life in the more city-ish areas, I have a true sense of mental and emotional and personal freedom to surround myself with.

I feel a connection to Tar Beach because I think I felt that exact, EXACT same transformation Faith felt when she saw the stars and they propelled her up into the universe, above the George Washington Bridge, above everything and everyone. For me, I got to fly above freshly painted white horse paddock fences, rocks, trees, and rolling green grass. Tonight’s sunset did that for me…. not because it was simply stunning and peaceful.. and not because I was able to wiggle my toes within freshly wet acres of grass… and not only because I feel so grateful to have grown up in a place where I’ve grown up… but most importantly because I have realized why I have this balance in my two worlds. And how important that balance is to me as a spirit and as a person. The way your life pans out happens for a reason. I feel like I’ve just realized why parts of mine are the way they are. That’s a really cool realization. :)

Chief Powhatan’s Robe

Eastern Woodlands Native American Culture

United States

c. 1638

This is the cheesiest inspiration for this post…. I watched Disney’s Pocahontas this morning. I KNOOWW, I know, that is a horrible reason to be inspired to do a post on Native American art, since Disney’s version of Pocahontas is extremely inaccurate according to what truly happened in history, but this movie is definitely a part of American culture and even if it is not historically accurate, it at least brings the knowledge of some (some!) Native American history to children’s minds while they are young… maybe it will even inspire some kids to go out and want to learn more about Native American cultures.  Or maybe I’m being a little overly idealistic. :P 

Either way, I love the movie because I grew up with it.. but after taking my first art history course at college this past year (Native American Art History) and having a passion ignited in my heart for Native American art, my eye is stronger in regards to picking up little nuances and details the Disney animators included in the movie of Pocahontas.  It’s exciting because I haven’t really watched it since I was little, so there are so many parts of the movie (and other Disney movies in general) that I wouldn’t have picked up on until now!

One of the details I picked up on this morning while watching the movie was that Chief Powhatan (Pocahontas’ father) is wearing a robe which looks very similar to the actual robe Chief Powhatan wore in real life!  I can’t seem to find a picture online of the illustrated version of the back of the robe from the movie, but watch the movie and you’ll see— the back is similar to this real life robe, pictured above. :D I love realizing stuff like this. 

I find Chief Powhatan’s robe (real, not animated one, haha) extremely beautiful because it is so simple, SO simple, yet has so much meaning and symbolism behind it.  I also love that it was used in real life- maybe not daily, but it definitely was used by Chief Powhatan during ritual, which in my heart gives new life to this piece of art.  When pieces of art or craft are actually used, I feel that new heights of beauty are reached, rather than a piece of art simply being made to immediately be displayed in a museum.

Chief Powhatan, chief of the Powhatan tribe, became known as the ‘Chief of Virginia’, because he was incredibly wealthy within his culture.  He controlled vast areas of land (34 villages in all!) and was the main political and religious shaman when the English came to Virginia. 

This robe was woven by a woman (woman usually did the weaving) and it is made of deerskin/hide, which is the brown/tan part of the robe.  The white parts of the robe are made of shell inlay designs, which are woven into the deerhide.  The shell is called ‘wampum’, which was a medium of exchange and was used to make jewelry.  The higher a person was in social standing, the more wampum they would wear.  One thing I was wondering is that maybe that blue necklace that Pocahontas gets in the movie from her father (the necklace that was once her mother’s) is wampum.  It would make sense…..  *eyes widen in realization….*

The white circles sprinkled throughout the back of this robe are actually circles upon circles— 34 circles in all.  34 circles represet the 34 villages that Chief Powhatan controlled— overall, this represents his power.  By wearing this robe, he was wearing his power.  The man in the middle symbolizes Chief Powhatan himself- to some, this may be surprising since he is depicted in a very simple fashion.  This is just another part of the robe I find interestingly beautiful.  As a chief, it was okay to show that he was simple and that at his core, he was just the same as everyone else.  Sometimes I feel that we need that reminder in regards to our own world leaders.  They’re simply the same as everyone else.

Finally, there are 2 deer depicted on either side of him.  The deer is a very important animal to the Eastern Woodlands cultures because it provides clothing, shelter (the deerhide was used to line the homes), blankets, and food.  Not only that, but the deer is seen as a revered spirit.  The deer is a symbol of action, and is a very powerful force for the ruler whose responsibility is to constantly take action and make decisions.  A deer is always ready to run, protect themselves, or look out for their family when danger is heard or seen.  A chief, like Powhatan, would look to the deer as a spirit to help make decisions and lean on in times of needed support.

I know I’ve kind of filled this post up with facts and the history-part of ‘art history’, more than the ‘art’, ‘connection’, ‘emotions’, and ‘personal’ part of the posts that I usually include, but it’s one of those posts where the history is for some reason overpowering me more than my personal connections. 

During these past couple of weeks, so many amazing things have happened to me, and at times I feel like I don’t have anymore ways to say thank you to the universe and world… and I just want so badly to somehow, SOMEHOW, give back to the world at least a bit of all the good that it has given to me.  After getting my license exactly a week ago, I felt numb— a numbness of shock that I couldn’t (and STILL can’t) believe… that this actually FINALLY happened. To me. To me….. I….. I don’t even know.  I think at first I just felt so undeserving and felt like I made too many mistakes to have actually passed the test.  I kept telling myself that I need to just let it go, I got my license, that’s what I’ve been wanting and praying for for SO long, right?  I think it’s one of those inexplicable feelings where I feel so happy, but just so numb  at the same time ..and I feel like I can’t thank the world enough.  I want to praise the heavens, but at the same time, I feel like I can’t because it’s just such a big thing that has happened to me that I can’t even say ‘thank you, world’ without it seeming too small a thing to say. 

Lately I feel a blanket of some sort… a robe, like Chief Powhatan’s, covered over me. Hovering over me. I feel really watched over (not in one of those creepy ways haha), really watched out FOR.  I feel so blessed that I passed my license test after all the hell I went through these past 4-5 or so years, this whole process of trying to get it.  I feel… like I can’t be thankful enough.  I feel weird saying this, but I feel like at times that I’m going to get punished for not being thankful enough and not saying thank you enough to the world— I don’t know, I know it sounds weird.  I know it sounds supersticious and paranoid.  But it’s just what I feel.  I keep telling myself “I earned this, I worked hard and prayed and sent good energy into the world so this came back to me”, but it’s still hard to accept that good things have happened and I don’t need to feel GUILTY that they’ve happened.  Accept the good.  Let that blanket of protection fall over my shoulders. I PASSED MY DRIVER’S LICENSE TEST. I DID IT. And that’s all that matters. Accept the blessings, don’t let old guilt trips which have been knocked into your head and various heads of generation’s before you (mostly by the Catholic church and guilt tripping religious institutions…. :/ ) control your happiness and stop you from reveling in your accomplishments.

I did it. And now I let that blanket, or robe, of protection envelop me.

Shield

Plains Native American Culture

United States

c. 1800’s

I barely can keep my eyes open right now and it’s only 3:20 PM….. It’s partially from traveling back to back for almost the past 2 weeks (that’s why I haven’t posted on here in forever), but mostly from seeing the midnight opening showing of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in theaters last night :D :D It was so much fun to see and was actually my first time seeing a midnight opening show for Harry Potter, let alone ANY opening show for ANY movie. So that was a milestone for me :) So happy I got to go with my cousin, someone I’ve known for my entire life & with whom I have traveled through the Harry Potter craze since we were about 7. It was an amazing show- I am so dead tired right now, but the movie was so worth it..

After movies I like to ask myself what part really resonated within me the most, and for this movie, there were a lot of those types of parts.. but in relation to this piece of art, one single scene sticks out in my mind. Harry’s ‘patronus’ (that’s what it’s called, right? it might’ve actually been his mom’s/dad’s patronus, I have such a bad memory, I’m sorry to all the Potterheads out there if I am mistaken!), the blue stag/doe, appears in this first part of the last installment of the Harry Potter movie series. This ghostly-looking blue stag is like Harry’s spirit animal and he believes it always represents a part of his father when he sees it. In the first part of the 7th movie, when the stag appears, my cousin and I were literally saying outloud, “STOP. DON’T FOLLOW IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOOOIINNGG??!? IT COULD BE A TRAP!!!”, because of COURSE Harry can’t deny the urge to follow the stag/doe, always believing that it will lead him somewhere safe and good. The stag actually ends up leading him to the Sword of Gryffindor at the bottom of a iced-covered pond. So, after all, the ghostly stag was a GOOD thing to follow. But how the heck can you know that before you follow it? How can you trust that it will all be okay in the end if you follow that stag, or spirit animal? How can you feel content in your heart and not nervous that it is going to lead you straight into a trap where you’ll be even worse off? I don’t know if Harry thinks about all these things, he probably just gets in a trance-like state when he sees the stag, which in his mind, represents his father’s spirit.

Okay, seriously, why am I being such a Potterhead when I haven’t even been that INTO the series since like almost 5 years ago. I think why I am relating so hard on this subject is because Harry trusted this good sign, the stag. He let it lead him to good things. He LET it PROTECT him. He let down his guard for the stag and became vulnerable, in a way.

This is what the ‘Shield’ from the United States’ Native American culture of the Plains provided for the user. In the Plains culture, shields were believed to have protective qualities spirtually and were thought of as gifts from the spirit world. These shields were actually used in battle to protect the upper body of the warrior, but were seen as more of a spiritual protection, which could even ward off the danger of fighting against bullets. These shields are not that large (usually about 12-20 inches in diameter), but they still pack a punch because of the spiritual investment which is put into these objects.

Each shield was usually created on a wooden base with a couple of layers of hide attached. The hide would be painted with natural pigments and feathers would be attached. In the pictured shield, imitation eagle feathers and real turkey tail feathers decorate the bottom and top of the shield, but back in the 1800’s (when many of these types of shields were created), real eagle and crow feathers would be stitched onto the shields to give strength to warriors in battle. Eagles and crows were seen as spiritually protective.

In the pictured shield, you can see an image of a bird-like creature at the center. This is the Thunderbird, the main spiritual source in the sky. This is not a real bird, but rather a representation of the spirits in the sky which create thunder, lightning, and rain. The sky is often seen as the spiritual world, meaning that the Thunderbird could be seen as a source of power in the spiritual world since it resides within the sky. On this shield, you can see the ripples coming off the Thunderbird’s wings, which represent the noise of thunder rumbles this spirit bird makes when it flaps its wings.

A deep, passionate red tone sets the background and a splash of vibrant green jumps from the top of the shield, highlighting the spiritual feathers. The brown of the Thunderbird sends a relaxing, lulling vibe to the viewer.

I’m not positive of the artist’s name for the shield pictured, but I know that a shield very similar to this one was created by No Two Horns. This is because his protective spirit was the Thunderbird— each warrior (male) would create their own shield and go out to have visions. The visions would determine what the warrior should paint on his shield. Each warrior was searching for one specific, special, protective emblem in his vision. For No Two Horns, it was the Thunderbird.

This is where I want, so badly, to feel in my heart what these Plains warriors felt when they were making these types of shield in the 1800’s. How can one so readily let down their guard and surrender all their fear to their spiritual animal, or guide? I try so hard to channel a type of ‘Thunderbird’ in my life, through my trials and tribulations, but it is so hard for me to completely surrender my fears. I don’t like my fears- who actually LIKES their fears? But at the same time I never want to give them up. It’s such a contridicting predicament I have here. I fear my driving on the road test I have exactly a week from today. I fear making mistakes while driving, I fear hurting someone else while driving, I fear making others mad while driving TOO cautiously, I fear pulling into a parking space crookedly, I fear backing into a parking space too close to the lines or at an angle, I fear turning the wheel too far, I fear hitting the gas too hard and zooming forward dangerously, I fear starting the car wrong and pressing the gas when the parking break or emergency brake is still on or it’s in the wrong gear. I fear not understanding the car I’m driving, not feeling one with it, and feeling like it’s going to zoom out from underneath me. I fear not understanding an intersection, I fear coming towards the intersection too fast and the light starts turning yellow and I’m not sure if I should stop before it turns red or just keep going and try to make it. I fear forgetting to put my directional signal on, I fear I will forget to head check before I change lanes, I fear that I will K-turn incorrectly or too slowly and overthink it all. I already am overthinking it all. But I can’t turn back now.

I actually feel better. After getting that all out. I need a shield. I need a blue stag patronus to lead me to the good things. I need a Thunderbird to give my fears to, so I can hear them echo in the thunderous rumblings in the sky spirit world, far away from me. I need to give up my fears because they are not for me to keep. Fears aren’t for any of us to keep, really. It’s hard to stop being selfish and to let them go… it’s like my fears of driving have grown on me for so long that I don’t know how to take them out of my grasp. I don’t know if it’s my heart that is holding them hostage so tightly, or if it’s my mind. I think it’s more my mind than my heart, but I don’t know. Plains Indians believed that their 12 inch diameter spirit shields could keep them safe from bullets. I’ve got to rely on a shield inside my heart to protect me from the worst of bullets related to driving. I’ve got to believe. I’ve just got to.